Over the last few weeks, I’ve really been suffering from season-induced lethargy. Okay, maybe that does sound like a fancy phrase for plain old laziness but I swear the negative correlation between the number of leaves falling from the trees and my energy levels is almost perfect. I’ve managed one weekend bike ride and I did lift some heavy weights the other day (okay, they were shopping bags) but it’s not exactly an athlete’s tally.

So, to those of you who crawl out of bed in the early hours of the morning to train before work, I doff my Wee Willie Winkie hat. I truly don’t know how you do it. You should have a title, like Chief Catcher of the Worms, for your efforts. Who knows, maybe the creatures of the night that you rule over with your muscular calves and steely motivation hold you aloft while the rest of us selfishly slumber away the most energetic hours of the day. I only hope that when they rise up against the sleeping masses that I’ve learned enough about sport to bluff my way into their good graces.

In guilt for my recent lack of activity, I have finally arranged my first badminton lesson for Saturday. Until then though, I will shamefacedly cower from autumn and continue to pretend it isn’t happening.